Since the school decided to change the Sec 2 annual camp from the Sarimbun Scout Camp to an Outward Bound Course, we had to go to Pulau Ubin for a 4 day 3 night course (the people over there at Outward Bound School refuse to call it a camp because it is thought that the word “course” denotes a learning experience. The course was supposed to be a learning journey for all of us instead of pure fun and physical activities commonly associated with the word “camp”). I have to admit that even before the fateful day of 17 October 2007 descended upon us, I dreaded the prospects of not getting to shower or bathe as often as usual and having to engage in hard physical activities away from the relatively technologically advanced way of life I was accustomed to. Certain rumours has it that participants of the OBS course had to kayak for protracted periods of time under the hot sun and risk severe sunburn. Judging from the red and raw skin of our Sec 3 seniors who went earlier this year, I was rather reluctant to go for the camp.
When I was told that I had high blood pressure (Wrongly, I think, judging from the fact that my blood pressure was certified normal by the Outward Bound School employed nurse after a bout of rock climbing) by the general practitioner at The Coronation Clinic, I did not felt much despair or anything at the prospects of not being able to join the rest for OBS. In fact, I felt quite relieved that I would not have to undergo 4 days of “hot and thirsty, cold and tired etc.” as stated by the OBS registration form. But on my long overdue visit to the Health Promotion Board, the doctor said that my blood pressure was normal and I am certified fit for “all types and grades of physical activity”, that includes an Outward Bound Course. I was once more disappointed that I had to go through the course. Among my greatest concerns were not being able to shower during the course.
My last hope at avoiding having to attend the course was being certified unfit by the doctors right before boarding the ferry to Pulau Ubin. That hope was shattered when the two middle-aged men who looked the part of doctors told me to “go ahead”. I was quite unhappy, I have to say, at having to go through the course after all. But those feelings were before I went through the course.
On the first day of the course, I was surprised by how we were supposed to do a lot of manual labour like cleaning and organising the store. I had wrongly assumed that an Outward Bound Course was supposed to be extremely physically challenging and I, being a NAPFA failure, would struggle to survive the course. I was thoroughly impressed by the ideal of “Challenge by Choice”, that means that we will set a challenge for ourselves based on our own assertion of our abilities and strive to overcome the challenge. Over the four days, there was not one activity that I was forced to complete but failed in. When I was not able to climb the rock wall, I was allowed to come down. You are supposed to learn both ways. If you reach the summit of the rock wall or meet whatever challenge it is that you have set for yourself, you will bask in the glory and satisfaction and learn to strive hard for what you want in life. On the other hand, if you fail to meet your challenge, you should also learn that it is important to set targets realistically and within your own expectations. Ideally, if a person fails to meet his/her challenge at first but succeeds after trying hard, he/she will learn that while some challenges are considered outside your own abilities, it is possible to achieve such targets eventually by striving hard enough.
The mundane things like cleaning dirty equipment and clearing the store also challenged my mental strength. At first, I was thinking that how we were wasting time and money coming to this camp just to do such things. To add to the situation was the fact that most of us was not willing to touch dirty or disgusting equipment and that we were more reluctant to wash and arrange things than attempting interesting and new things like kayaking and rock climbing. Maybe it was because we thought that such things are so normal and that we need not come to Pulau Ubin on a course just to do this. But now as I quickly assimilate back into the civilised and structured life I am so accustomed to, I look back upon the last few days and finally understood the significance of the seemingly “normal” and “common” work we slogged through reluctantly. Although it is more common to see washing and cleaning than kayaking and rock climbing, the important thing is that we were always looking at others do the cleaning and washing, be it mothers, maids or cleaners, and never doing a thing to help. So in terms of familiarity, washing and cleaning is equally high on the scale as rock climbing and kayaking. The cleaning and washing helped me understand that seemingly simple tasks may not be so simple and easy when you are the one doing it. Cleaners also feel that equipment stained with unknown substances from a dirty campsite is disgusting, but they overcome the mental challenge to touch and clean it. That is their job. We always think that a cleaner’s job is simple, but they may well have far greater mental strength than anyone of us. “Things are not always what they seem” as said by our instructor. How true.
I have seen many examples of people dreading OBS before going for it and then feel that it is very meaningful and fun after completing the course. Maybe it is in the structure of an Outward Bound Course that participants have to reflect on the course after it is over to reap the learning benefits. Extreme physical and mental fatigue is certainly not conducive for learning. It is now, while sorting out my muscular aches and four-days worth of stubble, that I reflect upon the course and feel that I really learned some valuable life lessons. I feel that my mind merely registered and remembered the events of the course and stored it for further analysis when there is enough spare energy and mental strength to spare for thought. I was under pressure for survival and there was not much commitment to reflection and thought as I was busy coping with the situation at hand and feeling the frustration in full blast. It also seems to me that my mind registered the events of the duration of the course in high definition, either because of the heightened senses under pressure to survive or I sub-consciously thought that the events were going to have a great impact on me.
In my watch (that’s what they call a group of about 16 participants), there were some interesting figures: Penyarah (The Speaker), Sekarang (The person who kept saying “Now” to any question), Yang Amat Kuat (The Person who exerts a lot of force in anything and everything, usually resulting in hilarious consequences), Yang Tidur di Kaki (The person who slept on my very-smelly-socks-clad feet) et cetera. While some of these people was a source of amusement to me and Kok Leong and to a certain extent helped me to survived the mental strain of the course, some of them really got onto my nerves. While I still do not agree with Penyarah’s rhetorical antics and Sekarang’s insistence on annoying everyone, I am now slowly understanding the importance of being a team player. You don’t have to like a person, but if he/she is crucial to your aims, you just have to play along with him/her or work around the problem. Normally working around such problems consist of assimilating, tolerating and maybe sometimes asserting yourself. It is important to accept and tolerate people of all kinds and types. While I may not be able to do that yet, that is the Utopian ideal to me.
Speaking of people, the one person who left a deep imprint on me was my instructor. Her name was Theresa. At the start, I noticed that the expression she wore was more soulful and less hard compared with the other instructors. I took that to be a bad thing as she spent a lot of time speaking and trying to make us learn something from every experience we went through, as a consequence, we were constantly lagging behind other groups. In the survival mode I was in for most of the course, I saw Theresa as a person who was not decisive enough. It was not until near the end of very course that I realised it is Theresa’s reflection and discussion sessions that made me learn so much and gained so much food for thought. While other watches had instructors that pushed them hard for performance and speed, we had an instructor that put most if not all of the emphasis on learning instead of physical challenge. I am not coming to any conclusions about which way is better, but I think it was a good experience having Theresa as an instructor. I value thought more than strength and the process more than the result. Thought requires an additional factor compared with the acquiring of physical prowess, opportunity. You can pump iron in the gym and work hard to close a 350 lb. gripper. But it is an opportunity to have something to think about that makes the difference between a a Strongman and a philosopher. And the it is the process that gives food for thought, not the end result. While my watch “Eng Soon” was one of the last watches to finish, I gained a great amount of experience to reflect and think about.
Theresa may not have made us the fastest or strongest, but she made us learn. I heard other instructor pushed participants to their physical limits and yielded high performance, efficient teams. Other instructors scolded and punished the participants for not following instructions. Not for once did Theresa scolded us during the entire course. But the tone she spoke in when she was disappointed with us made me feel the temperature drop a few degrees. The realisation that I had disappointed somebody made me felt sad, strangely. That reaction was something a scolding would never ever do to me. What I feel when somebody scolds me is cold, hard rage. The feeling of lost and the sadness at having disappointed somebody who wanted you to learn touched my heart the way the harshest scolding never ever could. Thank you, Theresa, for bestowing upon me such valuable lessons and such profound and meaningful food for thought. Thank you.
After the long, long, long and emotional rantings of mine, the reader may be feeling quite bored. I apologise for causing boredom if I did, but I feel it is important to share these thoughts and feeling that I am experiencing in high colour. Now on a lighter note, the part about belaying Kok Leong up the rock wall was really fun. The story goes that I pulled him up so hard that he can release three contact points and still not fall off. Some said that if I were to belay an even lighter person, I would be able to pull him up straight just like flag-raising. A comical picture, don’t you think?
Now, as I look back upon the sweaty and sticky events of the past few days, I feel that the Outward Bound Course certainly brought me great benefits. From dread for the course to actually liking the course; From thinking that washing and cleaning was useless to the realisation that there are some people doing washing and cleaning everyday; From thinking Theresa was indecisive to thanking her for making me learn so much… I guess the Outward Bound Course I attended was really a big, big journey. And like what my instructor said, our Outward Bound journeys do not end with the course; Instead, it begins when we finally return to our normal lives from the course. The course most certainly reaped more benefits for me than improving my fluency in Malay. Like working together with people (or speakers) who get on my nerves. ;P
“To Serve, To Strive and Not To Yield”
